3 Ways to Keep the Spark Alive in Your Marriage When Allergies Are Leaving You Feeling Burnt Out


Keeping the spark alive in a marriage is a challenge in itself; doing so with children is an even bigger challenge. When you add in special needs or a chronic illness like food allergies, it may seem nearly impossible to pull yourself out of the realm of overwhelm into the romantic world.

If you are like most moms I know who have children with food allergies, you are an extremely busy woman. Not only are you busy with everyday life, but you are probably a bit preoccupied with managing your child’s life-threatening condition. With cooking everything from scratch, making sure your child has her meds, becoming a private investigator just to track down foods your child can safely consume, managing co-occurring conditions, etc, it doesn’t always give you a lot of free time or mental space to relax, unwind, and snuggle up with your significant other.

It is completely normal to feel a bit overwhelmed in the beginning as you are learning to adapt to the changes that a food allergy diagnosis brings, or any new diagnosis for that matter. It is also completely normal to feel a bit overwhelmed if you’ve been managing food allergies for decades. The need for vigilance and safeguards is always there. Having a supportive partner to whom you feel emotionally connected goes a long way in alleviating some of the stress and overwhelm. Staying connected and aligned with your partner takes some effort but in the long run it will help improve your quality of life and increase your ability to effectively manage your child’s food allergies.

Here are 3 things you can do to get some quality time together and keep the spark alive:

  1. Schedule a date night (at least once a month). Go out and do something fun at least once a month. Don’t wait for the perfect time to do it. Choose a date and stick to it. If you wait for the house to be clean or all of your to-do list to magically disappear, you’ll probably never get time away to enjoy as a couple. I know it’s hard to tear yourself away from the piles of laundry and you probably have a thousand cupcakes to bake for school, but it’s worth it. :)
  2. Schedule some alone time together (at least once a week). You don’t always have to go somewhere to spend quality time together. Block out an hour or two for you and your husband to do something without the kids around. It can be very simple, like a movie night after the kids go to bed or an early Sunday breakfast before the kids get up. A little bit of alone time, can go a long way.
  3. Go to sleep together and snuggle as much as you can. Hugging and cuddling triggers your pituitary gland to release the hormone, Oxytocin. Oxytocin lowers your heart rate and decreases the stress hormone, Cortisol. Hugging it out can actually help to decrease anxiety and lower your blood pressure. So by awakening your inner snuggle bunny, not only are you bonding with your husband, but you are also managing your own stress. Going to sleep at the same time also increases your chances of being intimate which may also strengthen your bond. :)

These are just a few tips that you can easily implement. They do not require a lot of extra time and they don’t cost a lot of money. Try them out and see what a difference they make in your marriage.  I’d love to hear how you keep the spark alive, feel free to share a comment below.

About Tiffany deSilva

Hi I'm Tiffany deSilva, MSW, CPC, CHC, Founder of BrightFire Living, LLC. I am a social worker, speaker, author, certified health, wellness and lifestyle coach, certified green living coach and toxic-free consultant. I am passionate about helping women like you to detox each area of your life, safeguard your family's health, and live life fully charged and completely lit up! I am on a mission to empower women and families who are managing food allergies, autoimmune disorders, and other modern chronic health conditions to live a safe, happy, and healthy life that truly lights your fire!

Feedback & Comments:

  1. So important! Thanks, Tiffany!

  2. Definitely important to remember… we all far to often take that the our significant other will always be there. A good, happy, healthy relationship takes work too!

  3. Love these tips Tiffany. They work just as well if you or your spouse is dealing with a chronic health challenge, like fibromyalgia. Sometimes the people we hold closest are the first ones we begin to take for granted. These tips ensure that will not happen!

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